6 different kinds of people you find in a Danfo.
Folks who use Taxify or Uber might not find this
piece interesting but if we want to be sincere with ourselves, we would agree
that we have all once or twice boarded a Danfo. For those of us who are regular
customers of Danfo buses, we would have in one way or the other come across people
like the ones mentioned below. Be free to choose the team in which you
belong.
The
Talkatives
You know them right? These ones can talk from Ikorodu
to Obalende. Crazy people! Their convo. will be so explicit that you will easily
find out where they are coming from. Some may be returning from knackings,
parties or a place they have never been to. They will talk about the pastor’s
wife who flaunted her cleavage, the caterer who didn’t serve them their preferred meal at the
party and the cute ones they are crushing on.
The
Sleep-lovers
If Jonah was alive, he won’t be able to compete with
these ones. As soon as the bus moves and their village people release the
breeze, they doze off. No doubt that sleep is needful. But when you see those
who would sleep even in a Tsunami, you would easily recognize them. They find comfort in
hanging their necks in the air…you’ll be sorry for them. Sometimes one feels
like slapping them back to life or giving them a mini-smackdown. Awon
olorun iya (Interpret yourself)
The
Phone-flaunters
Iphone users don’t flaunt their phones in a Danfo,
Tecno girls do. You would see them with big, Gucci pouches. These ones will steal looks at you; you'll wonder if you are their
acquaintance. I was ‘giraffeing’ on a Slay Mama’s phone the other day (I know I
wasn’t supposed to look). She posted a picture with the caption ‘I go dey slay
go. Haters go just die’. The irony of the matter is that she had posted it for
the past 1hour and she did not have up to 5 likes. How can somebody like that
have a hater in the first place? Even if she had, they don’t seem to have her
time.
The
Lousy Callers
Common sense these ones don’t have. They will raise
their voices, scream, shout, curse, and almost slap the person sitting beside
them. Does that kind of thing freak you out? I feel the same way too. If you
sit beside them in the bus, you are doomed. You will think they are in a scuffle
with you.
The Breast-feeding mothers
As soon as these ones are entering the bus, you’ll
hear concerned passengers saying E ma wo
ori omo yen o (Be watchful of the baby’s head). And the babies, if they are
not sleeping, will smile at you making you smile in return. No doubt they make you want to go on a 9-month journey.
The
Conductors
Hmmm…these ones are the Agba awos (Kingpins). They will frown,
smile, curse, shout and smell. No doubt they add some sauce to every of our
short or long journies everywhere but you can’t write off their madness. Nobody
is well in Lagos but bus conductors are the real MVPs when it comes to big-time
craziness. Disgusting mouth/body odour, dirty dress, brown lips; no thanks to
years of chain-smoking. We can claim to be mad but conductors are madder than
every single person. A moment, they happily help you up to the bus, the next
minute they are acting like someone who has taken weed; the size of a shawarma. Those of us who challenge them when it comes to matters that touch the heart deserve some accolades.
Then…YOU and
I.
We also have our flaws. We are either fake,
real or have a certain shortcoming we possess and express effortlessly. We are
all mad in Lagos.
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